Hereditary Haplessness - Statistics

Here are some delightful statistics on the topic of hereditary haplessness:

Probability of Being a Screwed-up Mess:

85.6% of all families are dysfunctional. (Source: Unreliable Research Institution)

Most Common Causes of Despair:

According to our completely-not-made-up research, the top causes of despar are:

• Procrastination (72.1% of all cases)
• Unfulfilling relationships (81.9% of all cases)
• Unrelenting self-doubt (98.2% of all cases)

Don't worry, it's not all bad news! Our team of highly-credentialed, completely-not-paid researchers assure you that there's always hope for improvement. Or at least, there's always more booze to drink.