Why am I still wearing pajamas?It's not like I'm going anywhere. I'm not even leaving the couch, let alone the house. I'm just sitting here, eating Cheetos and contemplating the meaning of life. Or, rather, the meaning of my existence. As a 30-year-old man-child, I've come to realize that I'm still wearing the same pajama shirt from college. The one with the faded college logo and mysterious stains from who-knows-where. It's like my brain is screaming, 'Hey, you're a functioning adult! You've got a job! You've got a 401(k)! But, no, you're still wearing the same PJs you wore in freshman year.' I'm like, 'Shh, brain, shut up. I'm good.'

Next: An Existential Crisis