Welcome to the Tarot Card Tom, where the cards hold the secrets of the cosmos.
Here's how to read the Major Arcana:
0. The Fool: A blank slate, just like your student loan debt. Learn more about the Fool 1. The Magician: A card of skill and cunning, perfect for con artists and used car salesmen. Read about the Magician's tricks 2. The High Priestess: A keeper of secrets, but not as good at keeping secrets as your ex. Discover the Priestess's secrets 3. The Empress: A queen of abundance, with a heart of gold and a pantry full of goldfish. Learn about the Empress's empire 4. The Emperor: A ruler of discipline, but also really into Legos. Read about the Emperor's building blocks 5. The Hierophant: A card of tradition, and also a great name for a butler. Learn about the Hierophant's heritage 6. The Lovers: A card of passion, but not as passionate as your Aunt Edna at the family reunion. Discover the Lovers' love 7. The Carrots (no, just kidding, that's not a real one): 7.5. The Chariot: A card of action, perfect for the thrill-seeking adrenaline junkie in you. Read about the Chariot's charades 8. Strength: A card of willpower, but also a great excuse to not work out. Learn about the power of doing nothing 9. The Hanged Man: A card of sacrifice, but mostly just a guy hanging upside down on a tree. Discover the Hanged Man's hanging garden 10. The Death: A card of transformation, perfect for when you finally pay off your student loans. Learn about the Death's debt forgiveness 11. The Temperance: A card of balance, or as I like to call it, 'adulting'. Read about the Temperance's tantrums 12. The Devil: A card of temptation, perfect for when you're trying to quit Netflix. Discover the Devil's streaming services 13. The Haught: A card of change, but not as change as your flight itinerary. Learn about the Haught's travel plans 14. The Hermit: A card of solitude, perfect for when you just want to hide under your blanket. Read about the Hermit's hermitage 15. The Star: A card of hope, or as I like to call it, 'your student loan forgiveness letter'. Discover the Star's stellar news 16. The Moon: A card of illusion, but not as good as that time you saw a unicorn in the woods. Learn about the Moon's lunar magic 17. The Sun: A card of clarity, perfect for when you finally understand your taxes. Read about the Sun's sunny financials 18. The Last Judgment: A card of revelation, or as I like to call it, 'your ex's phone number in your contacts'. Discover the Last Judgment's last call 19. The World: A card of completion, perfect for when you finally finish your Netflix series. Learn about the World's world travel 20. The Aeon: A card of the future, but not as good as your crystal ball. Read about the Aeon's astrological signs 21. 0: The Universe: A card of the infinite, perfect for when you finally understand the meaning of life. Discover the Universe's universe-ity 22. 1: The Multiverse: A card of the multiverse, or as I like to call it, 'all the other universes'. Learn about the Multiverse's multiverses 23. 2: The Omniverse: A card of the omniverse, or as I like to call it, 'the ultimate answer to everything'. Read about the Omniverse's omni-tude 24. 3: The Meta-Verse: A card of the meta-verse, or as I like to call it, 'the internet'. Discover the Meta-Verse's memes 25: The Meta-Meta-Verse: A card of the meta-meta-verse, or as I like to call it, 'your mom's basement'. Learn about the Meta-Meta-Verse's mom's cooking