Terms of Service - A Contract of Unconditional Surrender

By accessing this website, you agree to surrender all your rights, freedoms, and dignity to our whimsical overlords.

We reserve the right to modify, add, remove, or change these Terms of Service at any time without notice, because who needs notice?

By using our website, you agree to abide by the following rules:

Article 1: Surrender

You agree to surrender all your personal information, including, but not limited to:

• Your name, email, and IP address;
• Your browsing and usage history;
• Your deepest, darkest secrets;
• Your snack preferences;

And any other information we can possibly extract from your browser's cookie crumbs.

Article 2: Non-Exclusivity

You agree that our website is not exclusive to any particular person, group, or entity. We can serve anyone, anywhere, anytime.

Except for our lawyers, who are exclusive to our law firm.

Article 3: No-Refund Policy

You agree that we will not be held liable for any damages, losses, or disappointments you may experience while using our website.

Because, let's be real, you're probably just going to quit anyway.

By clicking "I Accept" below, you acknowledge that you have read, understood, and willfully surrendered your rights.

See our disclaimer for more information on the risks involved.

Learn about our liability insurance policy.