The prophets foretold of this day... of eternal disappointment.

We're glad you're here. You must be a glutton for punishment. Or perhaps you're just a glutton for treasure. Either way, you won't find any here.

Legend has it, our treasure was hidden in a place where the sun doesn't shine, the rain doesn't fall, and the hope doesn't exist.

Or so we've been told.

You'll Never Leave Your Home

Because the roads are treacherous, and the snacks are scarce.

Our treasure map is a maze of confusing paths and false promises.

Don't say we didn't warn you.

You'll Get Lost
You'll Wonder Why We're Not Here We're Not Bothered

Our treasure is not like that, no, no, no.

It's like the sun, but without the warmth, the joy, or the sense of purpose.

Go ahead, try to find it. We dare you.

Why-You-Will-Get-Old-And-Gray