After years of research, I, Dr. Socktopia, have finally cracked the code to this age-old enigma: That Sock in the Dark.
My team and I have pored over countless laundry baskets, scrutinized every last sock, and consulted with the wisest of sages in the field. And now, I can reveal to you, the world, our findings.
It's not a creature, nor a sentient being. It's not a portal to another dimension. No, it's simply a sock that has lost its mate. But not just any sock, mind you. This sock is different. This sock is special.
Through our research, we have discovered that this sock is, in fact, the harbinger of doom. A warning sign that the very fabric of space and time is unraveling, much like the fibers of the sock itself.
We have reason to believe that the Sock in the Dark is not just a sock, but a minimalist report of the impending apocalypse.
We strongly advise you to take immediate action. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT attempt to touch the Sock in the Dark. Your sanity, your relationships, your very soul may be lost forever.
Instead, we recommend you sock-savvy survival tips to navigate the impending doom.
Together, we can face this crisis. Together, we can save the world from the Sock in the Dark.
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