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Your Roommate's Stale Pizza - A National Crisis

Warning: Consuming this pizza may lead to

Severe disappointment
Discoloration of skin tone
Loss of appetite for the rest of your life

But wait, there's more!

Symptoms of Stale Pizza Exposure

Uncontrollable sighs of dismay
Stomach churns with rage
A faint scent of despair wafts through the air

Learn about the long-term effects

What to Do?

A Guide to Surviving Stale Pizza Exposure

Step 1: Call an emergency pizza delivery service

Step 2: Perform an exorcism ritual on the pizza

Step 3: Deny the existence of the pizza, it's a lie, it's a myth

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