Flame Proof Undies: FAQ

Q: Do Flame Proof Undies really work?

A: No. They don't. They're actually just really bright pink pants with a flame logo on them.

Q: Are they at least comfortable?

A: Only if you're comfortable with the risk of spontaneously combusting in a kitchen fire.

Q: Can I wear them to a BBQ?

A: If you want to become the human version of a marshmallow.

Q: Can I return them?

A: Only if you can find the return address on the receipt, buried under 5 layers of soot and ash.

Q: Can I get a refund?

A: If you can find the store that sold them in the first place. Good luck with that.