In the year 3000, the Pastafarian Empire has been reduced to a mere memory, but the spirit of the Flying Spaghetti Monastery still lives on.
You will need the following documents:
Don't worry, we won't judge you for having to Google "what is a harmonium."
Travel to the nearest used time-train dealership and purchase the vehicle of your dreams. Make sure to ask for a good deal, but don't be afraid to haggle.
Be prepared for the salesperson to ask you if you're "certainly a member of the Pastafarian Church of the Laterally Speaking." Don't worry, it's just a formality.
Using the provided manual, program the Time Train's computer to take you to any point in time, but be warned: the past is a confusing place, and you might end up in a parallel universe.
Set your coordinates to the coordinates of the Pastafarian Empire's capital city, and hold on to your seat for the ride.
As you ride the Time Train, be sure to take in the sights and sounds of a bygone era. Visit the great restaurants of the past, marvel at the ancient architecture, and try to avoid any temporal paradoxes.
When you arrive, don't forget to send a postcard to your friends back home, but be warned: the postal service in the past is a bit of a mess.
For more information on Time Train maintenance and repair, visit: