Top 5 Reasons I'm a LizardReason #1: I have a pet rock that I talk to

It's a real thing, I swear. His name is Steve and he's the best rock in the world.

Click here for Reason #2: My collection of 17 vintage teapots

Reason #3: I can recite the entirety of "War and Peace" from memory

Okay, it's not really from memory, but I can look it up on my phone really fast

Click here for Reason #4: My extensive collection of antique door knobs

Reason #5: I have a Ph.D. in Extreme Ironing

I'm not really a doctor, but I've done extensive research on the subject