The Uncharted Bureaucratic Waters: A Guide to Navigating the Red Tape

Warning: contents may be subject to change without notice. Or notice. Or any form of communication whatsoever.

Here's a list of things you should probably not do in the Uncharted Bureaucratic Waters:

Do not attempt to swim against the current. It's like trying to fight a never-ending tide of paperwork.
Do not ask for a map. You'll only get lost in the labyrinthine corridors of our department.
Do not try to fill out forms in pencil. We use only the finest 0.38mm felt-tip pens, and any deviation will not be tolerated.