Because we're secretly funding a team of highly trained, expertly trained hamsters to perform SEO audits for our competitors. It's a thing.
Nope. You're not worth our time, nor do we care about your wallet. But hey, you can always try negotiating with our hamster overlords.
Good luck with that. Our contract is non-negotiable, non-cancellable, and non-refundable. You should've read the fine print (which is written in tiny text on the back of the contract, which is printed on a piece of onion skin paper).