A Guide to Fixing Leaks, Because You Clearly Can't Afford a Plumber

Step 1: Don't Panic (Unless it's a Real Emergency, Then Panic)

Tools of the Trade:

• The Official Underpaid Tumblers' Leaks-Fixing Kit ($9.99)
• The "Fix a Leak in 5 Minutes or Less" YouTube Video

Step 2: Locate the Leak (Hint: It's Probably Behind That One Painting)

Step 3: Use Your Trusty Wits (and a Bunch of Tape and Glue)

Step 4: Call a Real Plumber and Cry Yourself to Sleep