html Donate to Our Pension Fund - Because You Owe Us!

Donate to Our Pension Fund - Because You Owe Us!

We've been underpaying you for years. It's only fair that you give us some of your hard-earned cash.

Our pension fund is almost empty because of your subpar work ethic. Help us make up for it!

We've been watching you, and let's just say you're not exactly setting the bar high for productivity.

Donations start at $5.00. Any less and we'll have to start calling you "part-time" again.

Don't worry, we'll still love you. We just want to be able to afford more than just ramen noodles for lunch.

Donate now and help us achieve our dream of having a 401K that's not just a myth!

Levels of Donations

Our 401K Portfolio

Why We Owe It to Ourselves