Unrequited Drama Therapist Notes

Session Notes for Unhappy Sally:

• Diagnosed with Unrequited Drama Syndrome (UDS)
• Prescribed: 2 cups of coffee per day, 1 hour of Netflix per evening
• Progress: Still pining for that one ex, but slightly less frequently

Next Steps:

• Continue to wallow in self-pity
• Practice self-care through excessive online browsing
• Develop new and creative ways to ignore therapist's advice

Phase One: Develop elaborate backstory for ex Phase Two: Write 500-word essay on why ex is the best thing that ever happened Phase Three: Create spreadsheet to track ex's online activity Phase Four: Develop contingency plan for when ex gets engaged to someone else