Dear Whomever Finds This
It is with great regret that I am writing to inform you that the apocalypse, which was supposed to have happened 10 years ago, has been delayed until at least 2025.
I know, I know, I'm as shocked as you are.
However, in the interest of not actually ending the world, I have been forced to re-route my doomsday device to a nearby planet.
As a consequence, I have been left with an unmanageable surplus of doomsday-themed party hats, which is why I'm reaching out to you in the hope that you might be interested in purchasing some at a discounted rate.
They're a real conversation starter, I assure you.
Best regards,
Captain Reginald P. Bottomsworth
Continue reading, page 4