Sunburn Central: Where the only thing we sell is pain
Welcome to our guide on how to apply sunscreen like you're trying to win a bet.
Step 1: Squirt it on like a sledgehammer. Don't worry about getting it on your face, you can always just wipe it off later.
Step 2: Rub it in like you're exfoliating a corpse. The more you scrub, the more you'll regret it.
But wait, don't forget: you're probably going to end up with second-degree sunburn, so here's how to recover from that. And don't even get us started on sunscreen types. Let us recommend some questionable options.