Today's Rant:
I woke up this morning and realized that I had forgotten to eat my breakfast. I'm not sure what's more disturbing, the fact that I forgot or the fact that I'm still standing upright despite having gone 12 hours without sustenance.
Also, have you ever noticed how hard it is to find a decent coffee shop in this town? I swear, every one of them is either too crowded or too hipster. I mean, who needs artisanal, small-batch, organic, gluten-free, vegan coffee when you can have a good ol' fashioned Dunkin' Donuts cup of joe?
But wait, it gets better! I just remembered that I'm allergic to coffee. Yep, you heard that right. I'm like the human version of a raccoon in a trash can. I'm pretty sure it's because I spent too many years in the basement of the local library, surrounded by moldy old books and stale air.
So, there you have it. Another day, another rant, another allergy to add to my ever-growing list of ridiculous afflictions. If you'll excuse me, I have to go find something to eat now. Maybe I'll just have a slice of pizza and a side of existential dread.