Warning: This zoo is not recommended for visitors. The animals have become rather... testy.
The following animals have been deemed "unreformable" and are no longer welcome here:
- 1. The Lion with the Hairpiece (Moved to "Lion's Den" rehab facility)
- 2. The Giraffe with the Attitude (Currently in "Tall Tales" anger management)
- 3. The Elephant with the Sneeze (On "Tusks and Tissues" medication)
Standards of care for the remaining animals include:
- 1. Feeding: We serve a diet of "Free-range, organic, locally-sourced" insects
- 2. Enclosures: Our habitats are designed by "Famous Architect, Famous Architect, P.I."
- 3. Enrichment: We offer a variety of "Boring Exercises" and "Uninspiring Hobbies"
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