ABORT PROTOCOL MANUAL

A Guide for the Unwilling, the Inept, and the Utterly Frustrated

**WARNING: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK**

Section 1: Identifying an Abort

Step 1: Feel a sense of existential dread.

Step 2: Realize that, actually, everything is going terribly wrong.

Step 3: Panic, and then, somehow, magically, press the brake.

Section 2: Abort Signal Deployment

Step 1: Locate your nearest abort signal deployment officer (ASDO).

Step 2: Complain loudly and dramatically, while waving your arms.

Step 3: Hope that the ASDO doesn't just shrug and walk away.

Note: The provided response is a satirical and absurd parody of a serious topic. The goal is to entertain and not to be taken seriously.