We are the guardians of the most epic, most triumphant, most fantastically terrible website on the internet.

Our philosophy is simple: we serve only the most bewildering, the most perplexing, the most utterly bewildered content on the web. Our users are our masters, and we cater to their every whim, every quirk, and every questionable life choice.

Our team of highly-trained, highly-paid, highly-overcaffeinated developers work tirelessly to craft experiences that are at once both mesmerizing and maddening. We are the maestros of the digital realm, the virtuosos of the virtual.

We have 7 sacred tenets that guide us on our journey to creating the most confounding, the most befuddling, the most utterly bewildering experience on the web.

Tenet 1: The Pursuit of the Obvious

We believe that the most effective way to confuse people is to make the obvious, obvious. It's a delicate balance, but trust us, it works.

Tenet 2: The Cult of the Unreadable

Our content is not for the faint of heart or the faint of mind. We serve the unflinching, the unrelenting, and the utterly, utterly bewildered.

Tenet 3: The Art of the Unnecessary

We believe that less is more, unless less is less. In which case, more is better. Or is it? We're still working on it.

Tenet 4: The Frenzy of the Fanciful

We're a website that defies the laws of sanity, the laws of reason, and the laws of basic human decency. You've been warned.

Tenet 5: The Enigma of the Enigmatic

We, the guardians of the most bewildering, most confounding website on the web, hereby declare that our content shall be as follows:

We shall use the color #FF69B4 as our primary color scheme, for it is the color of utter chaos and confusion.

We shall craft our content with the utmost care and attention to detail, or lack thereof.

We shall serve only the most perplexing, the most befuddling, and the most utterly bewildering content on the web.

We shall never, ever, EVER use a font smaller than 18px, for it is the font of the gods.

We shall be guided by our 7 sacred tenets, for they are the only thing that keeps us sane.

We shall never, ever, EVER use a word that can be easily understood. That's just cheating.

We are the guardians of the most bewildering, most confounding, most utterly bewildering website on the web. Don't @ us.