Meet the Team Behind the Bland, Uninspired Website You're Currently Visiting

Our team consists of highly qualified professionals who are not actually professionals at all.

Bob "The Bob" Johnson - CEO and Chief Everything-er

Bob is our fearless leader, and by fearless, I mean terrified of his own shadow.

He's responsible for all the questionable life choices this website has made, including but not limited to:

• Using Comic Sans for the entire website
• Choosing a color scheme that's "eye-searingly bright"
• Picking a font that's "so bold, it's almost as if it's screaming at you"

Dr. Emily "The Doctor" Chen - Chief Medical Officer (of sorts)

Dr. Chen is our resident expert on all things medical, which is to say she's got a degree in Google and a lot of opinions.

When she's not busy diagnosing the latest in non-existent diseases, she's usually busy eating Cheetos.

Cheetos: The Snack Food of Champions

Marty "The Marty" Martin - Chief of Everything Else

Marty is our go-to guy for all things "not-Bob" and "not-Dr. Chen".

His expertise lies in his ability to open the copier, fix a leaky faucet, and order pizza at 3 AM.

Marty's Most Memorable Moments

Marty's Pizza Party