The Trolley Problem: A Trolley-matic Existential Crisis

By: Professor Reginald P. Bottomsworth, renowned philosopher and trolley enthusiast

You're faced with a moral dilemma, my dear friend. A runaway trolley, careening out of control, threatening to crush five innocents. The classic problem. But here's the twist: what if the trolley is a metaphor for the meaninglessness of modern life?

Do you sacrifice the five, or do you sacrifice the one? The answer, of course, is not what you'd expect. You don't sacrifice either, because you're too busy scrolling through cat videos to care.

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