YOU ASKED FOR THE ABSOLUTE INFLATED SENSE OF IMPORTANCE

Well, aren't you just the most self-assured person ever?

We've got just the page for you, a monument to the ego-driven excesses of the internet age.

Here's a countdown of the top 5 reasons why you're the most important person in the world:

• 5. The world literally rotates around you.
• 4. Every single soliloquy is about you.
• 3. Your opinions are irrefutable facts.
• 2. Your presence is the only thing keeping the apocalypse at bay.
• 1. Everyone else is just a mere echo of your greatness.

Enjoy your self-congratulatory experience!

Or, if you will, your delusions of grandeur.