The Overly-Complicated Coffee Maker 3000 is the ultimate coffee connoisseur's dream come true. With 17 settings, 23 options, and 42 blinking lights, you'll be the envy of all your friends and acquaintances. Or, you know, just a huge pain in the butt.

Features include:

Warning: Not recommended for use by sane individuals. May cause excessive stress, marital problems, and spontaneous combustion.