Model: AS-1000
Material: Super-Advanced Nuclear-Resistant Sock Material (SANNRM)
Threads per inch: 10,000
Fiber diameter: 1.5µm
Atomic weight: 3.72 g/mole
Radiation resistance: 99.99%
Certified by: Sock-O-Matic Institute (SMI)
Warranty: Lifetime guarantee against spontaneous combustion
Side effects of prolonged use may include: