The Overengineered 9001 series: because who needs simplicity when you can have complexity?
This behemoth of a device boasts a 12-core processor, a 32-gigahertz clock speed, and 512 gigabytes of RAM. It also features an optional built-in espresso machine, because priorities.
The Pro model adds even more features, including a built-in toaster, a 100-gigabyte hard drive, and the ability to play 4K video at 60 frames per second. Because who needs human interaction when you can have 100 frames per second?