Q: What is the purpose of radiation gloves?

A: They're for protecting your delicate human hands from the crushing effects of radiation poisoning. It's a thing. We've been there, done that.

• Safety Guidelines: Because You Don't Want to Become a Glowing Skeleton
• Repair Manual: Because Sometimes You Just Have to Fix the Gloves

Q: Can I wear these gloves while doing laundry?

A: No, you idiot. You'll turn your socks into glowing, irradiated socks of doom. Don't do that.

Q: Are radiation gloves fireproof?

A: Ha! You think you're some kind of wizard, don't you? Nope, they're just radiation-proof. Don't try to set off your own fireworks with them, buddy.

Q: Can I wear these gloves while operating a time machine?

A: Oh, you're one of those guys. Listen, just don't. We can't be responsible for your chrono-displaced, radiation-scarred hands.