Congratulations on choosing the most efficient upgrade path for the modern era: Doing Nothing!
With our patented "Zero-Productivity" algorithm, you'll never again be burdened by pesky deadlines or responsibilities.
- Upgraded to "Extreme Relaxation Mode": Our special software will detect even the slightest hint of stress and deploy a soothing fog of calmness to guide you through the upgrade process.
- Customizable "Procrastination Profiles": Choose from a variety of pre-built templates or create your own to suit your unique needs.
- Integrated "Binge-Watching" feature: Our system will curate a personalized feed of cat videos, memes, and ASMR to keep you engaged and entertained while you do nothing.