Extreme Pogoing 101: A Crash Course in Self-Induced Trauma

Welcome, future extreme pogoing masters! In this series of tutorials, we'll guide you through the basics of pogoing against the wall with reckless abandon.

Lesson 1: Mastering the Basic Pogo

Start by standing with your feet shoulder-width apart, toes pointing straight up at the wall like a flamingo in a tutu.

• Jump up and down, up and down, up and down, until your legs are ready to give up
• Now, add some flair with a 360-degree spin while airborne. It's all about the landing, folks!

Lesson 2: Advanced Techniques

Once you've mastered the basic pogo, it's time to move on to more complex moves:

• The "Pogo-Tornado": A whirlwind of movement that'll leave you dizzy and questioning your life choices
• The "Pogo-Flip": A backflip off the wall that'll make you wonder why you even bother

Don't forget to check out our survival guide for extreme pogoing enthusiasts for advice on how to treat those inevitable bumps and bruises.