Star Wars 9: A Galactic Snooze-Fest

Where the plot goes to sleep

Join the galaxy's most epic struggle to stay awake as the latest installment of the Star Wars saga puts the audience to sleep. With 30 minutes of space surfing, 20 minutes of character development, and 40 minutes of "plot twists" that make you wonder if you're still watching the same movie, Star Wars 9 is the ultimate sleep aid.

But wait, there's more! The movie also features:

• 30 minutes of space surfing: Because who needs a plot when you can watch a character stare at the horizon for hours?
• 20 minutes of character development: Get to know the characters you've been following for years as they grow old and grey, just like you will after watching this movie.
• 40 minutes of "plot twists": Because who needs a coherent story when you can have a bunch of random events that make you wonder what just happened?

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