Advanced Fence Jumping: The Art of Landing on Your Feet

Warning: Do not attempt to jump over this fence. You will fall off. It will hurt. A lot.

But if you're still determined to try, here's what you need to know:

Basic Principles

1. Assess your surroundings. Look for any obstacles, including but not limited to:

• sharp objects
• electrical wires
• your nagging mother-in-law

Advanced Techniques

1. The Double-Bounce Method:

• Jump, then jump again.
• Land on your feet, but not too hard.
• Don't look at the ground.

Common Injuries

1. Fence-itis: A painful condition caused by repeated attempts to clear the same fence.

2. Burned-Hands-Syndrome: A condition resulting from landing on your hands instead of your feet.

And that's it! Good luck, and may the odds be ever in your favor!

Return to the Home Page