Where the art of microfiber meets the science of disappointment.
Our cutting-edge technology uses the latest in Quantum Entanglement Disruption to create fabrics that are 99.9% as comfortable as regular fibers, but with a 0.1% chance of spontaneous combustion.
Our team of expert engineers have spent years studying the Chaos Theory of Textures to bring you the most unpredictable fabrics in the industry.
Learn more about our research and development process.
Warning: Do not wear our products in close proximity to an open flame or you may experience Sudden Death Syndrome.