Mind-Reading 101: The Art of Knowing What You're Thinking

A Crash Course in Advanced Neuromancy Techniques

Warning: The following techniques have not been scientifically proven to work. In fact, they probably don't. But hey, who needs science when you can just make stuff up and call it magic?

**Technique 1: The Ancient Art of Staring into the Distance

This tried-and-true method involves staring intensely at a person's forehead for an extended period. The longer you stare, the more likely you'll get a glimpse of their deepest thoughts. Don't worry, it's not weird at all.

**Technique 2: The Power of Suggestive Whispers

Gently whisper suggestions into a person's ear, and hope that they're receptive to your telepathic nudges. Works great for getting them to buy things they don't need, too!

**Technique 3: The Mind-Meld of Mirror-Gazing

Stare at your own reflection for hours on end, and somehow, magically, you'll start to see into their mind. It's like a cosmic, self-sustaining loop of psychic insight. (Just don't forget to water your plants, though.)

Need more techniques? Click here for our advanced neuromantic meditations!

Or, if you're feeling adventurous, read about the mind-reading mishaps of our interns...