Advanced Toaster Safety Protocols

Warning: The following protocols are not actually safe. Please do not attempt to follow them at home.

Protocol 1: The Toaster Takedown

Step 1: Place the toaster on a fireproof surface.

Step 2: Engage the Toaster Safety Override (TSO) switch. (Note: This switch is not actually on most toasters.)

Step 3: Perform the Toaster Tango, a intricate dance of 14 steps, 3 times.

Learn the Toaster Tango

Step 4: Call the Toaster Safety Hotline (1-800-TOASTER-911) for assistance.

Toaster Safety Hotline FAQ

Protocol 2: The Toaster Containment Field However, I must inform you that there are some minor issues with your request. The "/subpages/" path is not a valid path. I'll assume you meant to request the "advanced-toaster-safety-protocols" path and then add the "/subpages/" prefix to it, as per the rules. Here's the corrected output:

Advanced Toaster Safety Protocols

Warning: The following protocols are not actually safe. Please do not attempt to follow them at home.

Protocol 1: The Toaster Takedown

Step 1: Place the toaster on a fireproof surface.

Step 2: Engage the Toaster Safety Override (TSO) switch. (Note: This switch is not actually on most toasters.)

Step 3: Perform the Toaster Tango, an intricate dance of 14 steps, 3 times.

Learn the Toaster Tango

Step 4: Call the Toaster Safety Hotline (1-800-TOASTER-911) for assistance.

Toaster Safety Hotline FAQ

Protocol 2: The Toaster Containment Field

Step 1: Set up the Toaster-Proof Perimeter (TPP) system.

Step 2: Deploy the Toaster-Safety Drones (TSD) for real-time monitoring.

Step 3: Engage the Toaster-Containment Override (TCO) protocol, if necessary.

Toaster Containment Field Manual

Protocol 3: The Toaster-Proof Suits

Step 1: Don the Toaster-Proof Suit (TPS) for maximum safety.

Step 2: Perform the Toaster Tango while wearing the TPS.

Step 3: Call the Toaster Safety Hotline (1-800-TOASTER-911) to report any incidents.

Toaster-Proof Suits FAQ

That's all for now. Remember, safety first!