Advanced Bunker Survival Tactics

For the Truly Prepared Individual

Warning: The following information is classified. You have been warned.

Step 1: Secure Your Perimeter

• Install a 10-foot tall, razor-wired fence around your property. Don't bother with that fancy-pants concertina wire, we're going old-school.
• Dig a moat. Preferably filled with alligators. Or sharks. We're not picky.

Defend Your Entrance

Step 2: Protect your entrance with an impenetrable force field.

• Install a motion-activated, high-voltage grid. Because who needs a door when you have a 2000V zap?
• Program your security system to shout "Hasta la vista, baby!" whenever someone tries to breach the perimeter.

Conserve Your SuppliesStockpiling Essentials This page contains the most critical items for long-term survival. Don't bother with the non-essentials, they'll only weigh you down.

Food and Water

Avoid the pitfalls of scurvy and dehydration by stockpiling:

• Non-perishable, non-perishable, non-perishable canned goods
• Evian water from the finest French springs
• 1000+ packets of instant coffee
• 1 ton of MREs for those special occasions

Remember, a good bunker is only as strong as its pantry.

Bunker Automation

Keep your bunker running smoothly with these automated wonders:

• Taiwan smart toilet with advanced bidet functionality
• Self-sustaining, self-replenishing water recycling system
• AI-powered entertainment system featuring 24/7 reruns of 'The Twilight Zone'

Because who needs human interaction when you have a good AI?

Mind Control

Keep your mind in check with these top-secret tactics:

• Cybernetic subjugation
• Pharmacological mind control
• Subliminal messaging through strategically placed motivational posters

Because, let's face it, someone has to keep the peace in the bunker.