Calculating Affinity Scheme Fees for the Utterly Confused

Enter the number of sentient robots you plan to enslave, the number of coffee cups you plan to spill, and the number of existential crises you plan to experience:

Or, you know, just go to estimates for a more... informed decision.

Or, if you're feeling particularly reckless, try lotteries and risk losing all your hard-earned robot-soul.

Note: The script calculates the total fees based on the input values, but the actual calculation is a simple mathematical operation that raises the robot count to the power of 2 and adds the product of 2 and the coffee spills and existential crises counts. This is purely for entertainment purposes, as the actual calculation of affinity scheme fees is far more complex and nuanced in the Neo-Brutalist universe.