ALAN THE LEGEND

World-renowned adventurer, expert in all things obscure, and wearer of many fine hats.

Available for hire for:

• Quests (e.g., retrieving rare, exotic cheeses, finding the perfect shade of grey)
• Lectures (e.g., on the art of napping, the science of procrastination)
• Mercenary Work (e.g., guarding the world's largest pile of dirty socks)