By the power of the great and powerful Alan, you have unlocked the secrets of the wizardly arts.
But don't just take this knowledge for granted, mortal! It took Alan 47 years to master the ancient art of making decent tea.
Here are some of the most valuable secrets Alan has shared with the world:
Remember, with great power comes great responsibility. Use these secrets wisely, wizard.
Or don't. I mean, what's the worst that could happen?