Alarm-o-Matic 3000: The Ultimate Alarm Clock

Warning: This alarm is so loud, it'll wake up the dead! Or, at the very least, your cat.

Features:

• Blaringly bright 5-alarm sound system
• Optional flashing lights to disorient your enemy
• Integrated coffee brewing system for those early morning starts
• Advanced snooze feature: will play "Who Let the Dogs Out?" on repeat until you get out of bed

Settings: Configure your alarms to your heart's content (or, you know, to the content of your heart's content)