Algorithmic Murder Inc.

Our team of highly skilled data scientists has developed an algorithm that can pinpoint your target with uncanny accuracy. But don't just take our word for it:

• 99.9% effective in taking down pesky door-to-door salespeople
• 97.3% effective in eliminating noisy neighbors
• 85.6% effective in getting rid of pesky telemarketers

We're proud to offer a 30-day money-back guarantee: if our algorithm doesn't take out your target, we'll give you a full refund.