Job Description:
Job Title: Alien Whisperer
We're seeking an experienced Alien Whisperer to join our team of intergalactic consultants. As an Alien Whisperer, you will be responsible for communicating with extraterrestrial beings, negotiating trade agreements, and resolving interstellar conflicts.
Key Responsibilities:
- Build rapport with various alien species, including but not limited to, Zorvathians, G'lorgs, and the occasional curious Plutonian.
- Develop and maintain a thorough understanding of alien cultures, including their customs, taboos, and favorite snacks.
- Negotiate trade agreements with alien nations, ensuring fair and equitable terms for both parties involved.
- Resolve intergalactic conflicts, often using a combination of diplomacy, bribery, and clever use of universal translator software.
Requirements:
- 5+ years of experience in intergalactic relations, or the ability to convincingly fake it.
- Mastery of at least 3 alien languages, including but not limited to, Zorvathian, G'lorg, and the unpronounceable clicking sounds of the Plutonians.
- Ability to work in a fast-paced, high-stress environment, often with limited coffee options.
- Strong stomach for intergalactic bureaucratic red tape and paperwork.
What We Offer:
- A competitive salary in Earth dollars, plus a generous allowance in space-bucks for on-the-job expenses.
- A comprehensive benefits package, including but not limited to, full access to the Intergalactic Employee Assistance Program (IEAP), which offers confidential counseling services for alien-related stress and trauma, as well as a generous 5-year supply of space-asthma medication.
- Opportunities for professional growth and development, including but not limited to, attendance at the annual Intergalactic Relations Conference, and a comprehensive course in Alien Sarcasm and Wit (A.S.W.) certification program.
How to Apply:
Send your resume, a cover letter, and a 5-minute video of you attempting to order a coffee at an alien coffee shop. We're looking for someone who can think on their feet, and can handle the unexpected.
View our interview questions for this position and get a head start on your application.