Because Regular Solutions Just Won't Do

For the Situation: "I Accidentally Super Glued My Cat to the Ceiling Fan"

Step 1: Call the Fire Department. They have the right equipment.

Step 2: Offer your cat a participation trophy.

Side effects of this solution may include: embarrassment, catnip addiction, and an increased risk of cat hair-covered furniture.

Read more about our Step 1: Fire Department Protocol

For the Situation: "I Ran Out of Coffee and Now I'm a Zombie"

Step 1: Stumble upon a coffee shop that still accepts cash.

Step 2: Stare at your feet until they start moving on their own.

Side effects of this solution may include: caffeine withdrawal, spontaneous combustion, and a strong sense of existential dread.

Read more about our Step 2: Self-Initiated Lurching

For the Situation: "I Accidentally Superglued My Toes to the Keyboard"

Step 1: Use a blowtorch and a can of WD-40.

Step 2: Call a professional toe-release specialist (they exist, we swear).

Side effects of this solution may include: toe hair loss, permanent damage to your keyboard, and a strong sense of regret.

Read more about our Step 2: Toe-Release Protocol