Welcome to the Ambitious Assessment of Things That Matter, where we evaluate the importance of everything and anything.
We assess the significance of your socks, the value of your avocado toast, and the overall worthiness of your life choices.
Our team of highly trained, extremely confident experts (i.e., me, myself, and I) will provide you with the most definitive, the most authoritative, and the most utterly useless assessments of the world's most pressing issues.
So, what matters to you? Want to know if your cat's Instagram following is sufficient? Or perhaps you're curious about the relative importance of your fantasy football league standing?
Whatever it is, we'll give you the lowdown, the inside scoop, or the completely fabricated analysis you need to know the truth.
Assess My Social Media Following Evaluate My Snacking Priorities(Please note that our assessments come with a 100% satisfaction guarantee. If you're not satisfied, please don't be satisfied, but do know that it's because you're just wrong.)