Anger Management Technique 3: The Farting Method

Step 1: Identify the Root Cause of Your Frustration

Are you frustrated because your cat is being an idiot? Is your neighbor too loud? Or is it because you ate a whole pizza by yourself in one sitting? Whatever the reason, it's essential to acknowledge it. Acknowledge the source of your rage.

Take a moment to breathe, and then ask yourself: "What's the worst that could happen if I let this frustration consume me?" The answer, my friend, is that you'll turn into a giant purple monster and destroy the city. So, that's not good.

Now, let's get to the farts.

Step 2: The Fart

When you feel the anger rising, it's time to release it. Not just any release will do, though. No, we're talking about a good, old-fashioned fart. The kind that makes your stomach rumble, your butt wobble, and your face turn bright red.

It may not be the most dignified thing to do, but trust us, it works. The release of pressure, the sudden loss of control, the stink that wafts through the air like a toxic gas – it's all part of the process.

So, go ahead, take a deep breath, and let it all out. You got this.

And that's it. That's the whole thing. If it worked for the ancient Greeks, it'll work for you. Or not. We're not really sure. But it's worth a shot, right?

Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any property damage caused by the sudden release of flatulence. Nor are we responsible for any subsequent lawsuits.