Technique 5: The Art of Pretending to Listen

Also known as "Selective Hearing Syndrome," this technique involves pretending to listen to someone while secretly planning your escape route.

Step 1: Nod your head and make supportive noises while the other person is talking.

• Use a ratio of 3:1: nod-to-words-spoken. This will ensure you appear engaged and attentive.
• Maintain eye contact, but not too much. A 30-second stare can be... intense.
• Occasionally interrupt with a well-timed "uh-huh" or "I see." This will keep the other person talking and give you time to plot your exit.

Subtechniques:

• Subtechnique 5.1: The "I'm Not Listening" Technique - A variation of the above, but with a more aggressive tone.
• Subtechnique 5.2: The "I'm Not Even Here" Technique - A more extreme version, where you simply leave the room.

Remember, the key to this technique is to appear engaged without actually listening. It's a delicate balance, but with practice, you'll be a master of the art.