You've been assigned a MANDATORY TRAINING SESSION! Don't even think about leaving the building without a certificate to show for it. You might as well be trying to leave without your pants, because that's basically what you'd be doing.
Session Title: "The Art of Not Getting Fired: A Guide" Session Description: "Learn how to not get fired in 8 short hours of grueling training. Topics will include 'How to not spill coffee on your shirt,' 'The importance of eye contact during meetings,' and 'The art of pretending to care about what your boss says.'"