Annual Review Committee: Recommendations

Dear Esteemed Employee, we've reviewed your performance and have come up with some... suggestions.

Promotion to Assistant (to the) Regional Manager:** We've decided that you're not ready for a real promotion, but you're close enough.
More coffee machine filters: We've observed that you've been drinking a lot of coffee. Like, a lot.
Free stress balls for your cubicle: We care about your mental health, but not enough to get you a better desk.

Why not?

Because we can, that's why. Also, we have a quota to fill.

Also, we're not sure you're ready for the responsibilities that come with a real promotion. But we're willing to train you, slowly and painfully, over the next 6 months.

Learn more about our thought process and questionable decisions