Are you tired of your skin being all crispy like a fresh pack of potato chips every time you step outside?
We offer the most advanced anti-UV coating technology, guaranteed to make you glow like a slightly-less-burnt piece of charcoal.
Our patented process involves slathering on a layer of our special sauce (patent pending) and then... well, we're not entirely sure what happens next. Science!
Side effects may include: mild irritation, increased risk of spontaneous combustion, and a faint sense of existential dread.
Don't wait any longer! Visit our subscription service for regular shipments of our magical UV-coating solution.
Or, if you're feeling particularly reckless, you can just try it yourself.
Either way, you're sure to be the talk of the town... or the subject of a heated discussion in the emergency room.
Learn more about the science behind our anti-UV coating