WhirlyBird 5000

The WhirlyBird 5000: Because Who Needs to Clean Efficiently, Anyway?

Invented by the brilliant and utterly insane Dr. Reginald P. Bottomsworth, the WhirlyBird 5000 is a behemoth of a vacuum that promises to suck up anything in its path... but probably just clogs up your carpets instead.

Features:

• Unreliable suction system
• Broken belt
• Loud whirly noise that'll drive you crazy

Side Effects:

• Clogged carpets
• Broken vacuum parts scattered all over your house
• Regretful purchase

Subpages:

• Subpage 1: User Manual for the Clueless
• Subpage 2: Warranty Information (Ha! Like you'll ever get a refund...)
• Subpage 3: Testimonials from Satisfied Customers (Who Clearly Have No Sense of Humor)